Mary Sue Academy
by Muria
Summary: A mistake has occured, and Susan's going to kill her grand-aunt for it. For now, she's stuck studying in the infamous Mary Sue Academy. To gain her freedom, she must graduate- she must 'pass' four worlds, finding love in each. Loopholes will be found.


**A bizarre mistake has occurred, and someone's going to get it when Susan catches up with whoever made it. But, for now, she's stuck studying in the infamous Mary Sue Academy. She may as well make the best of it and mess with the much-abused characters of popular anime, like she must if she ever wants to leave this asylum…**

**WARNING: This is a new style for me. It is a parody, but I hope Susan doesn't actually become an annoying character. Please tell me if she is.**

**To the best of my knowledge, this is somewhat original. If it's particularly close to another parody, my apologies, but I probably haven't read it. If this is too close to someone's real story, than that might be a sign that it's particularly cliched... None of this is based on any fanfiction in particular unless otherwise noted.**

**I obviously own nothing but Susan and the characters of the horribly pink and cliched Mary Sue Academy.**

**Comments and suggestions are welcome and will be considered.**

**I will continue the rest of my stories, but the inspiration for this just attacked me.**

* * *

Susan absently plopped in front of her computer, only to gawk as the screen flashed a brilliant pink glow that quickly enveloped her. For a long moment, she saw nothing but sparkling, vibrant pink. When the world finally returned to a wider spectrum of color, there wasn't that much of a difference. Everything was still pink. The marble floor, the smooth walls, the carved ceiling, the huge painting of some strangely perfect girl entitled 'Mary Sue.'

"What just happened?" Susan hissed, lurching to her feet from out of the pink chair, "And where am I?"

"You're at the Mary Sue Academy!" a perky voice announced from the safety of the doorway. A head of blonde curls poked through the crack, "It's a great honor to be accepted. Most Mary Sue's aren't accepted before they have some experience."

Eyes narrowed, Susan stepped towards the increasingly nervous girl, "Isn't a Mary Sue a cliché, unrealistic character in a love story?"

"Yes! Mary Sue's are wonderful, wonderful characters! They complete series, especially anime series. There just aren't enough wonderful female characters for all those bishies."

"Alright, I understand what you're saying. This is the Mary Sue Academy, you're a Mary Sue, and you want me to be some scatterbrained ball of fluff, too."

"Mary Sue's don't have to be fluffy!" The Mary Sue stepped into the room, smiling with perfect teeth in a face fit for a porcelain doll. "There are angsty Mary Sue's, and some angry ones. It's just that most of us are fluffy. You could be a punk one. Or, if you want a tragic past- which is such a good way to get the guy to fall in love- you could be an angsty one. Or, you could be a mix of different styles. It's so much fun!"

"Sure. Now, how do I go home?"

"…Home?" Mary Sue looked at her oddly, "Oh! You're one of the 'I-say-I'm-not-a-Mary-Sue-but-I-really-am.' Do you think you could change that? That's really not a very good kind. It's kind of hypocritical, and it hurts our feelings that they say such mean things about the rest of us…"

Susan took a breath, glancing up at the eyesore called a ceiling before looking back at Mary Sue. "Look, thank you for taking your time to try to explain things. Thanks for the acceptance into the Mary Sue Academy. But, no thanks. I don't want be here. It's summer, and I've got a canary that's going to drive my parents crazy if I'm not there to stuff it full of sunflower seeds."

"You could bring your canary! Animals are always a good addition to spice up a Mary Sue's life and-"

"No. No Mary Sue. I don't even know how you found me."

"But-but… You're name is Mary Sue! You're the grand-niece of our founder!"

"My name's Susan. No one calls me 'Sue' much less 'Mary Sue.' And I don't have a grand-aunt."

"Your name is Marion Susan Smith. And you do have a grand-aunt! It's just that your grandfather never talked about her because she vanished to this world. Do you want to meet her?"

"I can't believe you know my name. And… that whole grand-aunt thing really feels like a mix of _Peter Pan_ and _The Princess and the Goblins_."

"Of course! There's not that much original material at the Mary Sue Academy, so everyone but the experts just re-use the parts we like from other stuff."

"Fascinating," Susan dead-toned, "But, how do I leave?"

"You only leave when you graduate." Ignoring Susan's squawk of anger, Mary Sue continued, "Normally, you could leave if you failed, but since you're the founder's grand-niece, you're exempt from failing. That means that you can take as long as you like. And, don't worry about getting old! We never age unless our story requires it. Isn't that great?"

Mary Sue turned in time to see a furious teenage girl barreling towards her, and then she just saw pink and couldn't quite tell if it was the pink floor or the pink walls she was being pinned to.

"Mary Sue, how do I leave?" To get her point across, Susan yanked a fistful of perfect blonde curls.

Feeling her beauty in danger, Mary Sue began to babble about something a little more useful, "You could leave immediately for personal study if you like, but that's only to a series world. You can't go back to your world until you're released from the Academy, and there's really nothing I can do beyond getting you to a series world, which would let you graduate faster if you show that you can be a good Mary Sue, so please, please, please stop hurting me!"

Susan untangled her hand from the strangely still-perfect curls, shifting her weight to allow Mary Sue to lift her head.

"What's the fastest way I can be released from here?"

Tearfully, Mary Sue murmured, "You can sit through a lecture or two, and then go to a series world and practice it. If you are successful, then you'll have credit for a year. You need four credits to pass, so you'll need four worlds. But, if you fail, then you won't get the credit. That's why Mary Sue's normally devote a year or two between world visits, because it hurts so much to be rejected! And that's the way you fail- if you're rejected. But, sometimes it's really hard, because the some characters have to be out-of-character to not reject you from the start but the more out-of-character you have to make the characters of the world, the more likely they'll realize what you are and reject you. It's a balancing act…"

Susan sighed, and then slid off of the other girl. "Alright. I'll try that. Thank you." Looking at the upset Mary Sue, Susan helped her up, "I'm sorry I lost my temper. That was excessive. Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine. And it's ok. Really, the hurt Mary Sue's and angsty Mary Sue's are violent sometimes. It's just that the fluff Mary Sue's are my favorite, because we almost always admit who we are- just not to the characters!" Mary Sue shook her head, "I'll never understand why it matters so much to them that we're Mary Sue's…"

"Maybe it's because you don't actually care about them?"

Puzzled sapphire eyes fixed on Susan's, "What do you mean? Of course I care. I love Kurama so much! But, when he found out I was a Mary Sue, he growled at me. Can you believe that? He growled at me, like a fox! But, he didn't try to hurt me… He just told me to leave… That was a better reaction than Bakura's, though. Bakura tried to send me to the Shadow Realm when he found out! I barely escaped… Then, Deidara almost blew me up, and Light almost wrote my name in the Death Note, and Ed threw me at a homunculus Then-"

"I get it. But I don't think you do. How did you really care about all of those guys? Especially when, in your world, they weren't even real? If they were being themselves, then that's what they would have done anyway… mostly. I don't know how you got thrown at a homunculus. That takes talent Mary Sue." Susan smiled gently, making sure Mary Sue knew she was kidding.

Mary Sue smiled weakly.

There was silence in the long minutes as the girls made their way through more pink halls to the lecture room for Susan's lesson. As they approached the elaborate doors, Mary Sue stopped.

"Susan, I'm sorry you're so unhappy with all of this. Please don't hate me."

Startled, Susan instinctively hugged the other girl, "I don't hate you. Sorry about the whole tackling thing."

"It's ok." Susan had stepped away when Mary Sue spoke again, "My name's Alice. When you come back, can you come talk to me again?"

"Sure. I'll do that, Alice. Don't graduate while I'm gone."

"I'm nowhere near graduating. I've only got two credits, and I've been here for five years." Alice paused, "Good luck."

"Thanks. You too."


End file.
